We love you Lukas.

Today is a very somber day. With Lukas going into surgery, everyone is very antsy. People fasting and praying for Kurt, Heather, Theron and Lukas that don't even know them. I've had my eyes opened by this experience in the past few days though.

We found out that there was going to be definite brain surgery a couple days ago. It just so happened that it was the same day Paul got very sick. I went over and took care of him for a while after work and we got to talking a little bit about how it's different now. Paul has a ton of faith that whatever happens the Lord will be right there in whatever situation occurs. I agree, yes, but my selfish self shines through. I want Lukas to no only live, but to be a smart, healthy little boy. I want him to be able to run and jump and play and see and hear and talk and smell and touch! I want him so badly to just be normal, and he's not even my child. He's one of 3 of the most adorable, amazing nephews that I have been blessed with. But I love them a long with my niece so much it's unbelievable. I can't imagine how it is to be a parent with a child that has any kind of special need or disorder. It really does break my heart.

I feel like there is no way I could ever be a parent when situations occur with my niece or nephews. There's no way all the 'good times' can out weigh the times when you're told your son/daughter has cancer. It's just not possible. There's no way that the grief you feel is overcome by the 'good times'. I guess that's when the Lord steps in. I know he holds a higher place in his kingdoms for the families who persevered and were faithful throughout trials like these. I know he holds us in the hollow of his hand when we feel most taken over by grief or despair. And I know that he loves us all.

Thank you for keeping Lukas and his family in your prayers and thoughts. I know it helps and gives strength to those who need it.

12 days... C:

My wedding dress looks REALLY good..
Like oh dang good..

12 days.

Thats IT!

And I decided that I'm verrrrry good at putting school work off..

14 days..

I'm supposed to be doing my project that's going to take me a lot longer than I realize to finish. I cant focus. I cant concentrate. I'm so excited to get married. 2 weeks and 2 days from now I'll be married to this really wonderful guy and I can hardly wait. It was really stupid of me to take classes this semester... especially one with Paul.

I just really like him :D

Get Excited.. Seriously!

17 Days.

Holy.

No spare.

I'm sitting in the computer lab at the Navarro campus in Waxahachie..
I just locked my keys in my car.
Stupid.

BUT

I made a new friend in my class that has AAA! So She's unlocking it for free for me!
I love friends :D

And Fiance's!


ALSO


I find it hilarious to make fun of girls. Not all girls, only the ones that don't know theres anyone else on the earth but them. Today I noticed that when boys talk to girls like 'them', the girls chest gets a little higher, their butt gets a little bigger, and they lose at least 10 inches in their waist.

I couldn't help but laugh.

30 days... :D

Paul and I have a lot of things going for us right now. We have a sweet apartment thats very affordable, we have furnature in that apartment. We have a wedding date.. And tons of little things inbetween.

We're very very excited. Invitations will be in the mail by tomorrow afternoon so you should be getting yours shortly! I really hope all our friends and loved ones can come to the reception at least.

Gay birth control...

I've decided..

Bad things don't always happen in 3's, sometimes they just kick you in the butt all day. i.e. Yesterday. Wanna hear more? I'd be glad to tell you.
I was very irritated all day long. I don't know why.. Well, actually I found out that it's probably this retarded birth control.. gay.
Anyway, so Paul was just being Paul all morning. It bugged me so bad. Then I turned to go to another one of my classes in Waxahachie, and I totally started crying. I turned right back around and went home to watch a move and do laundry before I had to go to work.
Then Paul texts me and reminds me about going to the Apartments to take our check stubs for final approval. Great. I'm on my way up there, and a gay semi truck pulls out in front of me. I slam on my breaks and all the stuff on my seat, tumbles to my floor. (It was mostly Kurt's mail..:) I was ticked.. All I could smell was burning rubber and then my "Service required" night came back on. Wonderful.
After I went to the Apartments, I went to go get a drink and a couple tacos from Jack in the Box. After turning out of the drive through, my drink flips out of the cup holder and busts all over the mail that I refused to pick up earlier. Bad mistake. Now all our mail has root beer all over it. I was furious. So I pull out a taco immediately to ease my troubles (Eat my feelings, whatever) and the taco was put in the bag upside down. What a dumb person. So It slides out of the wrapper, busts all over the floor, on top of the root beer, on top of the mail, on top of my newly vacuumed car...
Then more dumb little things happened through out the rest of the day.
It was a long one.

Anyway, I also found out yesterday that Paul and I are approved for our apartments! Yay!
That is so exciting!
We both are so excited. Paul's moving in on Saturday. Our rent for February is $6 (we just have to pay for trash pick up), for March is $199, and in April starts our regular rent at $630. Hot dang, get excited!