Today is a very somber day. With Lukas going into surgery, everyone is very antsy. People fasting and praying for Kurt, Heather, Theron and Lukas that don't even know them. I've had my eyes opened by this experience in the past few days though.
We found out that there was going to be definite brain surgery a couple days ago. It just so happened that it was the same day Paul got very sick. I went over and took care of him for a while after work and we got to talking a little bit about how it's different now. Paul has a ton of faith that whatever happens the Lord will be right there in whatever situation occurs. I agree, yes, but my selfish self shines through. I want Lukas to no only live, but to be a smart, healthy little boy. I want him to be able to run and jump and play and see and hear and talk and smell and touch! I want him so badly to just be normal, and he's not even my child. He's one of 3 of the most adorable, amazing nephews that I have been blessed with. But I love them a long with my niece so much it's unbelievable. I can't imagine how it is to be a parent with a child that has any kind of special need or disorder. It really does break my heart.
I feel like there is no way I could ever be a parent when situations occur with my niece or nephews. There's no way all the 'good times' can out weigh the times when you're told your son/daughter has cancer. It's just not possible. There's no way that the grief you feel is overcome by the 'good times'. I guess that's when the Lord steps in. I know he holds a higher place in his kingdoms for the families who persevered and were faithful throughout trials like these. I know he holds us in the hollow of his hand when we feel most taken over by grief or despair. And I know that he loves us all.
Thank you for keeping Lukas and his family in your prayers and thoughts. I know it helps and gives strength to those who need it.
